Loved Ones Lost

Now that it is coming to the end of the year, I've been thinking about what has happened in '08. Christmas was good and I've written the happy things, but with the good also comes some pain. Sister Linda Kim passed away on the 26th. It was so sudden and so unbelievable. We just saw her on Sunday when we went to go look at the lights on their street. Of course Lory and her family are here and we had the chance to talk on Saturday morning. The Kim's are family to me. I grew up with them. Even though she already had 6 kids, she always made me feel welcome in their home and she let me tag along to family activities. All piled up in the cadillac! We would play Chinese games in the back yard, do chores around the house, play upstairs until she hit the lunch/dinner gong, she got me hooked on cocoa & crackers, told jokes in the jacuzzi, showed me how to pick opihi, taught us how to knit mittens, man... I really do have a lot of memories with her. I was able to know her a little more on our carpool trips to BYUH. Those two hours on the road really provided an opportunity to be in the presence of a strong, loving person. She is an amazing woman with awesome abilities and talents yet so down to earth and eager to share. Her parenting tips and advice were so helpful to me to gain more confidence as a mother in Zion. I will miss her energy, her smile, her laugh, her walk, & seeing her with her baskets full of bread, star fruit, or flowers.

Another loved one that has left us is Kepa's younger brother, Kawika. He left suddenly too, and there are more questions than answers for many people. Kawika was my "first love" ~ at 14, he was my first boyfriend. I had boyfriends in Intermediate, but he was the first one that I really cared about. My dad knew it, so he made me break up with him. I remember the next morning, I was still crying from the night before, and Sho came in my room to give me a hug. He was probably only just over one year old...
Kawika & I spent more time on the phone than anything since he lived in Honokai Hale & me in Mililani. But I remember church dances with him ~ he could really buss da moves, playing volleyball, cruzin' @ the park with Jen & Kepa, going to Ho'olokahi @ the Stadium, cutting school, making out, Ice Palace, dinner with my family, his drawings, his songs on the piano (his favorite was "she's like the wind"). Even after we broke up, throughout high school we kept in touch. Late night meets @ Kipapa park, Kam school Ho'olaulea, Zippy's, Carnivals, sneaking in Ala Moana hotel, movies, Pearlridge... I was bummed that he took another girl to his prom ~ but she became the mother of his first child. I actually went to her baby luau and Kawika brought Taylor for me to hold. He looked so happy and proud that all my immature jealous feelings melted as I held that beautiful little girl. He now has 6 kids & a widow. He was so talented and just an all around good guy. He even made Josiah's first birthday cake - m&ms- He is missed by many, many people.

Another one that also left us unexpectedly is Kaleo. He is the cousin of good friends of mine and one that I had the privilege to know. He was a go-getter, a hard worker, a hard partier, gave the biggest bear hugs, wasn't afraid of anything, but would give up everything for his daughter. I remember talking story with him when he was working security, riding on the back of his motorcycle, going clubbing, concerts at the Blaisdell, shomokin' ouut, catching rides after work, kickin' it @ Turtle bay, seeing how much Sandee was in love with him and how happy they were even if it was for a short time, & happy that he became a police officer. He also has a family and a widow, a very large extended family, and many friends that miss him.

Rest in peace. "till we meet, till we meet at Jesus' feet."

Uncle Sho

Sho came home for Christmas and it's so good to see him again. Honestly, it's like he hasn't even left, but it's been 9 months since he's been home. He looks good, he's happy in Utah, and he's become "a fine young man" Lol! The boys immediately attacked him and Josiah is his opihi. Always wrestling and playing and sitting on Sho's lap. So cute. We're gonna miss him when he leaves on New Years eve. Hurry up & have your family sho! I want some neices & nephews :0)

Christmas '08

I wrote a post on Christmas day, but I hit some button and it deleted it. It was a nice long post with details and everything, but I'm too lazy to write it all again. I even made a slideshow with pictures & captions, but I don't know how to put it on here. So tech challenged... Anyway, christmas was beautiful. Just seeing my boys' faces when they first saw the tree and the presents strewn all over, hearing them ripping off the wrapping paper & loud laughs & shrieks of pure joy. It was wonderful. The day before we dropped off some gifts for our friends & the boys really got into it ~ they loved giving and hugging our friends & neighbors. On Christmas day we went up to Wahiawa. Good food, good company, good times... Can't believe it just came & went! Here are just a few pictures:

Writing To Santa & Leaving Cookies



My Muddy Buddies for friends



Merry Christmas!

My Two Wheeler

We took off Josiah's training wheels off today! He's 5 and I was getting down on myself for not trying to teach him earlier so I promised him that we could get a new bike for "big boys". We went to the park next to his school & at first he didn't want me to take off the training wheels. He was hesitant to get on the bike after I took off the wheels but I told him I'd hold him. We went down the basketball court & I was telling him to keep peddling. We turned around and half way through the courts, I just let go ~ and off he went! I was so happy! He caught on in less than 5 minutes :0) I'm so proud of him. We stayed at the park for a couple hours while he got used to it and later this afternoon we went to the church parking lot and he was just jammin' on that thing. He get 'um.

While I was watching him, I just remember when I was small. My bike equaled freedom. I loved going on adventures with my friends and going fast down dirt hills. Even on my mission, I loved being on a bike. And I could see that on Josiah's face as he was going all over the place today. So happy :0)

Getting Ready for Christmas ~ Honolulu Hale

Tonight is my favorite Christmas memory so far ~ we rode the fire truck @ Honolulu Hale. The boys were so excited and we all had so much fun riding downtown in the back of an old firetruck & toured the holiday lights. We rang bells, sang, and yelled out "Merry Christmas!" Josiah & Elias really got into it. When we climbed off the bus and walked back to the car, they both kept saying that they liked it and that it was fun :0) I hope they'll remember it for a long time cuz I will remember their faces, their laughs, and their eyes lighting up ~forever~.

Getting ready for Christmas Part 1

Christmas is just around the corner... only 4 more days left! I've been trying to get stuff done before then ~ while still trying to maintain the True Meaning and trying to build memories for my boys. Here's just a few things... Gingerbread House Josiah's school had an activity, "Gingerbread Math" where the parents are invited to come and make a candy house with the keiki. It was so cute & the kids (and mommies!) had a blast. Here's Josiah with his masterpiece. Braving the Malls On Friday, the schools got out at 11am! So I decided to take the boys to Pearlridge to ride the Christmas train. It seemed that everyone else had the same idea. It was jam packed & it was a mad house. But, we managed to get tickets and only had to wait a half hour to ride the train. The only bummer was that they couldn't sit next to each other on the train so I didn't get that "Kodak moment" as I was hoping. But they still had fun. I think Elias was in awe since he hardly said anything while he was riding it.

On Saturday we hit Ala Moana. Finished up our shopping and had a few treats. They were driving me crazy jumping all over the place and trying to calm them down to act like civilized humans while we were in public. Sheesh, they act like we never take them anywhere.

Pockets

Elias recently discovered pockets. Everytime he finds a penny or any coin, he comes up to me and asks me to help him put it in his pocket. Today when I was folding laundry, I picked up one of his cargo shorts and felt that it was extra heavy. I looked inside and found his treasures. Rubbish paper, a water bottle cap, 2 pennies, a lincoln log, and a J magnet. So funny. I asked him what the "J" was for & he looked at me and said matter-of-factly, "for Josiah!" Of course, mom!

Rain, rain, go away...

I've been stuck in the house since Thursday since Mother Nature decided to bless our island with a much needed rain. Well, it's Saturday night and I'm still listening to it pouring down hard. I liked it the first day, but now I'm tired of it. Enough already! And it's not looking like it's gonna let up any time soon.

But you know, I was looking thru the newspaper & watching the news and I see so many people who are flooded out of their homes. It's really bad. Here are a few pictures.




And this is all HERE. We're on the same island ~ like 20 minutes away... I hope and pray for their families. I wish I could do something, but I really don't know what. All I can think of is how thankful I am to have a roof over my head and my family's safe and dry. But somehow that seems so selfish of me to say that right now. But I really, I truly am grateful for the blessings I have. Especially the simple yet vital things that I easily take for granted like a home, a job, our health, food in the fridge... Why does it always take a disaster to make you realize what you have?

My Best Friend

I always tell people that I married my best friend ~ in fact, I have. Pat & I were always cruzin' together (for years!) and I always could pour my heart out to him, laugh with him, be stupid with him, dream with him, complain to him, and just sit down & stay quiet with him. And it's been like that since we've been married. Yes, of course we have our arguments & we do stuff that irritate each other, but I'm so glad he's my husband. You know, he doesn't talk crap about other people and that's been so hard to find lately. With so much negativity around I'm so happy that I have my solace with him. I know he won't talk stink about me, or stab me behind my back, or be two-faced, or judge me. He loves me for me. For all my faults, all my mistakes, all my trials, and all my insecurities. He lets me be a bitch when I need to be, and understands that I need to act like that at times. I love that I have him in my life every single day.

Today we took the boys to the park next to our house and just ran around playing tag. We all tumbled in the grass to catch our breath and I just realized in that moment that even though we struggle dealing with outside "real-life" kinda stuff, I am happy. Life is sweet. And it's solid because of him.

Late one night, many years ago, I was overwhelmed with so many problems that I was facing. I called up Pat & asked him if he could come over & talk. He came & picked me up and we just went for a drive while I was telling him all my dramaz & bawling my eyes out. He was quiet, just listening to me and the next thing I know, we're driving in Makiki. I asked him where we were going & he said "I'll take you someplace where all your troubles will disappear for a while." We drove up Tantalus, parked, and sat on the stone wall looking over Honolulu. I felt like I could breathe again. While the wind was blowing in my face, I could just feel the weight lift off my shoulders. I have the song, "Up On The Roof" playing on my blog and it just reminds me of that night. My roof that night was Tantalus, and my roof now is at home with my hunee. Here's the lyrics:
When this old world starts a getting me down
And people are just too much for me to face
I’ll climb way up to the top of the stairs
And all my cares just drift right into space

On the roof, it’s peaceful as can be
And there the world below don’t bother me, no, no

So when I come home feeling tired and beat
I’ll go up where the air is fresh and sweet
I’ll get far away from the hustling crowd
And all that rat-race noise down in the street

On the roof, that’s the only place I know
Look at the city, baby
Where you just have to wish to make it so
Let’s go up on the roof

And at night the stars they put on a show for free
And, darling, you can share it all with me
That’s what I said, keep on telling you

That right smack dab in the middle of town
I found a paradise that’s trouble proof
And if this old world starts a getting you down
There’s room enough for two, up on the roof

Up on the roof, up on the roof
Everything is alright, everything is alright
Come on

But so do enter the night and climb up the stairs
We can see
We got the stars above and the city lights below
Up on the roof

Boobies

Yup, I said it. I'm gonna write about boobs. After I had Josiah, my friend Sonya gave me some advice. She said "From now on, your body isn't yours anymore." I didn't really understand what she meant until a few months later. My body was a milk machine-food cubby, it was a playground, it did weird things, and I was still supposed to be sexy?? Well, 5 years later, I thought I could get my body to be mine again... no breastfeeding, I've lost a little weight, yada-yada. But now all the boys in my house has this fascination with my boobs. What is it with guys and boobs? I thought it was just a high school thing? Apparently not since my big 36 year old loves 'em & my little boys can't keep their hands off of 'em. Sheesh. This is what happened yesterday. I was sitting on the couch and Elias climbs on my lap & gives me the biggest bear hug (I love those kine hugs!) He then grabs my shirt and looks inside.

Elias: "What's that?"

me: "mommy"

Elias: "no. that." (puts his hand down my shirt and pats my boobs)

me: "paipai" (japanese)

Josiah: "I wanna see!"

me: "eh, you guys not supposed to be looking down girls' shirts. It's private."

Josiah: "but you're not a girl. You're mom."

Elias: "paipai! paipai! paipai!"

Josiah: "how come you have that mom?"

me: "Cuz Heavenly Father made me that way."

Elias: "How come?"

me: "Heavenly father made it" (I couldn't think of anything else to say!)

Elias: "oooooh! I like it!" and starts rubbing both of them with his hands.

I tickle both of them so they'll just stop already!

Maybe if I wear Victoria's Secret 5 million dollar bra they would just leave my boobs alone. Maybe not. They'll just want to take picture of it or something. Not a habit I'd like them to start!

Bad choice?

Last night Josiah & Elias were playing on their train table. Josiah took a long time to set up the tracks and made it all cool and different. They were so happy and I could hear them playing, making choo-choo train sounds. The next thing I heard was some "gucha gucha" sounds & I knew Elias messed up the tracks again. (He's famous for destroying Josiah's creations!)

Josiah: "Aaaaw maaan! Elias! Why did you do that? Mom! Elias made a bad choice! He broke my train tracks."

me: "yes, he did make a bad choice. Elias, can you apologize to your brother?"

Josiah: "That's okay mom. I'm alright."

one second later...

Josiah: "Mom, I'm going to punch Elias. I'm going to make a bad choice too."

(proceeds to attack Elias while I try to figure out something to say!)